The Text Message That Killed Me

  It was stupid really, I should have known that flying 80 mph down the interstate and trying to send my mum a text that I was okay, I should have known it was a bad idea.
I was too late when I realized what had happened and in a moment of panic, I over-corrected. My car went spinning across the interstate, tires squealing against wet pavement drowned out the song blasting through my speakers. A scream echoed through my head as a million things all crossed my mind, the last thing I heard before a deafening crunch was my own voice yelling through tears, "I just want it all to end."

 Then complete darkness.

  I jolted awake or so I thought, I was standing on the side of the road looking at the bent piece of metal that at some point had been my car. There were officers and paramedics everywhere, people kept running past me and I tried so hard to get their attention, but it was all to no avail.
  I didn't feel dead, so I must not be I thought, that was until I saw what used to be my body being pulled from the wreckage and those next words I heard broke me.
  I wasn't dead, I couldn't be dead at 19, I still had so much more to live for and I had finally found someone who was genuinely interested in me, baggage and all. I was screaming and sobbing as they zipped my body into a body bag and loaded me into the ambulance.
 
 How was this possible?
I knew that texting and driving was stupid, I had seen the kind of damage it did, but I just couldn't stop and this what I get.

  I remember listening to the doctor on the phone with my parents and explaining to them that they had a body in their custody that matched the description of their daughter.
 I saw my mother collapse into my father's arms when she saw my beaten and bruised body lying there, cold and lifeless.
I saw the way my sister's jaw clenched and the rapid blinking of her eyes as she tried to be strong. I saw my brother punch the brick wall over and over again till his knuckles cracked open and his blood dripped on the dingy linoleum. I saw my boyfriend burst through the doors and take in the sight of my family before falling on my lifeless form, his knees gave out and he crashed to the floor a broken sob escaping his lips.
  This is what I had done to these people who cared for me so deeply, I had broken them because I chose to send a text instead of paying attention to the road.

  The funeral was much worse because there were so many people, more people than I had ever imagined showing up. The principal from my old high school cancelled school and everyone showed up, even the little kids and their parents.
 I had to watch as my best friend was dragged away from my coffin kicking and screaming, I had to watch as my boyfriend showed up in the same suit from the night before except rumpled and dirty, he wreaked of alcohol and I knew I was the reason for it.
  Person after person came and offered their condolences to my family, my father thanked them while my mother sat in a catatonic state. My brother sat slumped in his seat wiping angrily at his face every so often and my sister sat with her knees to her chest rocking back and forth praying that this were all just some terrible nightmare.

  There were multiple people who got up to speak and I had never seen such a terrible mixture of laughter and tears than on that day.
 All of it was because I just had to send a text to my mother while flying down the interstate, I could have waited till I had come to a stop or I could have called her and left a voicemail, but I chose to text, it took my life and broke everyone I have ever cared about.


 If I had waited to send that text my parents probably would have stayed together, my boyfriend would still be alive, my sister probably would have learned how to respect herself better and my brother wouldn't be so angry at the world or maybe all of this would still have happened.
  Your response to that text can wait till you aren't driving, that person can wait because if it were so important they would have called. You mean more to the people around you than you will ever know and their world's wouldn't be the same without you.
  Wait to text or snap back, let your attention be drawn to the road instead of your phone and save your own life today.